How To Bend Not Break When Faced With a Challenge or Ostacle

I’m reminded of the Song by Neil Sadaka, “Breakin up is Hard to Do,” when it comes to relationships, maturing and growing a business. I see it very clearly with my clients; Your business grows when you grow. That said, it’s not easy, but it is possible.

All Grown UP

As a child I eagerly wanted to show everyone how grown up I was. I was in such a hurry because I knew for certain that my “happily ever after” was waiting for me out there somewhere, I simply had to be old enough for it to show it. I learned the hard way that my life’s final destination was not a fixed point in time but that my life is a series of destinations, mere stops on a long journey filled with rolling hills one minute, steep terrain the next and easy walking paths later on. I had a narrow view point which got in my way of seeing all the possibilities in front of me. I had such resistance shifting from single chick to spouse, spouse to parent, employee to business owner, married to widowed, and local, big fish in a little pond to newcomer and outsider.

A 360 View

Sometimes you have to take a full 360 view around what you’re resisting, what the obstacle, or complaint is to fully understand it. I realize this can be difficult and yes, annoying! But it can also show you, as it did me, secrets about the obstacle that you couldn’t have learned by simply seeing from your own view point, your own perspective. But as soon as you breakthrough the limitation of your perception, and you experience that moment of SATORI you start to grow with love, maturity and appreciation.

Harvard and Another Study

A Harvard study suggests that 90% of your long-term happiness and success is predicted not by the external world, but by the way your brain processes the world.

I found a way to help me navigate through transitions, saying goodbye to old worn out roles and welcoming new ones. I hit many obstacles and road blocks to my maturation, I was resistant, stubborn at first; I, like you, love pleasure and hate pain. So I made a game out of these seemingly endless transitions by putting together celebratory events, ceremonies, if you will, to help me shift my focus and embrace new adventures.

Game Time

Here’s your chance to create an experiential piece. When you find yourself in one of life’s transitions, makeup a game or event or ceremony. Have fun, laugh, or cry, invite close friends or none at all. It’s your gig; give yourself the freedom to play any way you want to.

Start Backwards:

If you feel weird or awkward and can’t get started, try this exercise.

  1. Create a timeline on a piece of paper.
  2. Work your way backwards starting with the end result
  3. party name, date, and time
  4. Before that happens where is it going to be?
  5. Before that, who is going to be there?
  6. Will you have food and beverages?

As you can see there can be as many or as few steps as you like. It’s up to you!

Theater and the Bright Lights

I love acting, having studied and performed for many years, and like actors on a stage I’m reminded of being an actor on the stage of my own life.  My different roles are simply costumes that I inhabit for a time and then take off once the run is over. As John Ortberg states so eloquently in his book “When the game is over it all goes back in the box,” the run can be a day, a week, a month or years, but inevitably, the show will come to a close. Each role I play gives me another perspective through which to understand myself and the nature of the universe.

Bring the child within you to the surface, and allow yourself the opportunity to play, laugh, cry, sing and dance as you transition from one role to the next.

Thought you might like tohar the song that inspired this article. From Rick Shaw’s Saturday Hop, straight from 1966- Neil Sadaka- Breakin up is Hard to Do

Communicating from the heart,

Sharon Kay

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